Quotation

Today 7/8/2024

I sent her a SOS. I don't know what's wrong but it's something... I should be happy. My sister just moved into her place... I knew her kids would be happy to have their own rooms - I remember being a kid and having your own room was something special. I didn't grow up in poverty nor did I group up rich, although I thought we were rich and we were... just not how modern day man defines rich. I had my own room as a child, my sister and I never had to share rooms. I knew she wanted that for her children as well. We all want the best for our children. Even when we are blinded, by them or others, we want the best for them. I too wanted my space back so I was ecstatic. I just knew when they left I would be bouncing off the walls... but I wasn't. I was drained.

Then I started getting in my head

Money

You've been off work for 8 months

Where are you going to get the money to do the things that you want to do

You really want a complete remodel, a fresh start for myself and my son

Money

The job. I was stressed out the deadlines were overwhelming me... nobody said anything to me Tikisha what's going on with your numbers... nope, it was just good ole Tikisha in her head.

Behind Closed Doors

Always in my head

I gave myself a deadline. The bible, Jesus, 3 days okay 3 days will be my new rule.

I am sure I broke that rule. I was stressed out then I remembered I was doing my best and my best is good enough.

I let go.

8:08pm

The text read

"I like once you released the expectation you achieved your goal" but applying that to my day to day life seemed terrifying

What's next?

We are conditioned to want to know what's next... the next turn, the next meal, the next vacation, the next event, the next minute - What time is it?

It's like were asking are we in the past, present, or future?

All at once.

I guess that's why wanting to know the future is so important. You want to know where you're going. If where you're going is in the right direction.

However.

Nobody knows the future. I can see what I see maybe even decode a few images to let you know if you're on your path but I can't tell you the future.

We all have free will, do we listen to the GPS or do we go with our gut or do we ignore the GPS

I think I wrote about this too before

Imagine all the free will involved all of it going your way for all things to work together for good, your good for you to acknowledge your God, your Creator?

I get chills thinking about the universe conspiring in my favor. It's a lot to get us to agree on what to have for dinner with our family - so imagine all the work involved to answer a prayer, your prayer.

Grace, Mercy, Wisdom, Visions, Love, Health, Wealth

praying the order doesn't matter

all for little ole me, do I deserve this ... what have I done but complained?

I deserve.

Do you think I would spend month after month if I had this right?

I wrote Wright 3 times, before actually getting to spelling it correctly. I think of Just Wrigth, and you know what that means I'm going to watch it. I already won't about this before on my blog so let's see how my mind wonders now - the past and in the future.

I watched Real Talk Kim this morning I chuckle as she talks about sage and rocks. I worship Jesus just like other but I do have some sage and rocks. Kim's journal topic was take the lid off... TikTok 8 something ish am is when I watch her

Psalm 5:3 I lay my request before you

if it feels off it's off

I go to Psalm 5:3

my voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.

I will make my request know just like David did and I will keep my head up, expectingly

The waiting room.

City Girls Up 1

8:20 book delivered

8:24 tracking updated, in transit

Things are coming and going, going and coming.

This might be your first read - no editors, typos are well just typos or maybe they are signs I don't know, call them what you want but when nothing is hidden there is nothing to hide. I make mistakes.

a handwritten journal entry and expansion, now, present and past

I was grateful but I wasn't happy.

I was grateful I could pay my bills, working and not working my bills were paid. It was the state of mind I was in I was always grateful but I don't think I ever showed it - I think when something happened I was recognized gratitude more but showing it on the daily basis, I was slipping. I knew I had to figure this out, quickly.

I was happy, I felt free... free to do the simple things that I loved

but freedom cost, a lot and I well had just enough

but the just enough felt little because it wasn't my enough

it was God's and having to release control to God while some think it's so easy it's not

it's hard to depend on others in the earthly realm, especially when you've either been conditioned to believe that you can only believe in yourself, never had someone to depend on, whatever the reason it's hard to depend on others and others that's you've never had to depend on before

it's hard to believe that God would use someone else to bless you because why would he do that - exactly

He would and He can and for me He did

However, I misunderstood the assignment

8:39pm The birds are chirping outside of my bedroom window. I didn't feed them today. I slept late, but that's no excuse. I have to do better because I've done this for weeks and weeks, consistently they are depending on me... God is using me as their source just like he uses others for my source. The birds flock together... different species eating from the same, well plate.

I needed to pay for my freedom but the only source I had, that I could "see" was the same industry I've worked in for over 20 years.

Last year maybe September or October we did vision boards at my house. There was a check written to me for $200,000.00. I think that wouldn't be enough I need more.

Do you ever think like that or is it just me?

Because if I had $200,000 right now I would be "at peace". Or would I?

Enough truly is enough.

Breathe.

No matter the circumstance.

Write the vision make it plain

The $200,000 pays off bills

I am grateful that I am debt free.

I reminded myself I can't get what I ask for and instantly want more when I haven't even enjoyed what I have now, in the present moment

stillness, fall, a crisp breeze in the window, a sip from my favorite mug

I remembered I prayed for days like this

Remember when you prayed for today?

For that one time for your life to change, drastically and it did

For that other time when the dream, wish, prayer, affirmation, something you just said actually happened

I need to put some gas in my car.

Later in the day, I am putting gas in my car.

Simplicity. Death and Life are in the power of the tongue. Remember death is first.

Watch what you say to yourself and others

Three times

I remind myself when I prayed for a job where I could work from home so I didn't have to worry about transportation issues for my son... I was one of the first to ever do it (well that I know of and not to brag but to brag on how God can deliver, quickly - I tell myself)... I wanted a salary increase... got it... I wanted the less stressful job with more money... got it.

God did do it.

I wanted the less stressful job with more money.

8:48pm 8:49pm text messages

Learning gratitude. Learning to stay in the moment knowing that it's all happening at the same time, the past, present and future. I turn on Just Wright, finally

Happy.

Grateful.

I was grateful but I wasn't happy this was the beginning of realizing you can truly be grateful for something and not happy and you can be happy for something and not be grateful.

Leslie was grateful her father was helping her remodel her home but she would have been happy if he'd listed to her and hired a handyman to do the things he didn't quite know how to do it and sometimes it's not that we don't know how to do something it's just that we may not need to do it

Rest

after working years and years and years you are entitled to rest

normalizing attaining rest before you are 60

40s is the prime and these late 40s hit ever harder

better get you one... splash warning

I hear... It's like the skies opened up and I heard the angels singing. This dude knew he wasn't interested in her why would he say "we can do this all night" her "all night" her tone was indication of how she saw the situation and he knew that... why would he ever just play that role?!?!? As in from the beginning have we forgotten how to be polite, hey you're really not my type but I'd love to get to know you or yeah I'm just going to go but here's $$$ if you want to stay and enjoy our reservations

Me, I'd probably stay and eat alone... I like alone so I wonder how this is going to really go

Balance

Vision Board

See the vision

Brands

the journal

Most days I was scared about money but the one thing I didn't do was not spend money. I was determined to keep retraining my mind as much as possible I mean it wasn't going to hurt

anything for me to simply speak nicely to myself even if I was feeding myself lies I mean they are positive lies, I've told myself enough lies "he loves me lies" that I believed before might as well make these positive

I just didn't want to put myself in a lack mindset. I said I was getting rid of scarcity and I did. While I've vowed not to obtain more stuff through debt I forgive myself for when I did... because you just never know when the next day is coming, the day you're a millionaire. Instead of going shopping at my favorite luxury brand I visualized collaborating with them... and then boom I'm spending money and I'm happy as hell.

Spending money at the Dollar Tree.

I hear "you won't be at this party". I'm sure she really said house.

A chance. Opportunity. Distractions. Clarity. Vision. Gentleness.

When I was shopping at the Dollar Tree the truth is the thrill was just the same. I laugh because if the Dollar Tree was new, oh my... I'm going bananas.

I sing the words.

9:11pm.

Bananas.

Every princess needs a chariot. Yes, Daddy I agree. The chariot, takes off...

Yellow.

I was still spending money but not frivolously. I've learned and grown from what I've learned. A few non-essentials but compared to before, this was nothing. Small Wins. Habits.

Addictions are hard to break.

He remember Leslie's name. Leslie Wright you made it...

I don't know why that's standing out to me, but he remembered her.

It was like it's was her all along.

I see empire. I think Emperor.

My mind... it ain't hurting anybody so I'll keep on writing my fairytale.

This girl played her role, even a fake volunteer shelter. That's some bold shit. He didn't pick up on that when they started dating... even if he didn't ask, she showed all she did was shopping.

Actions.

I remember this part the same every time.

Leslie thinks she's not beautiful because she's 35 and hasn't met her 1 amazing guy.

Leslie try 48 and add in me journaling about a damn movie

now this is some funny shit

in the journal

I knew I had a problem but I didn't realize it was obsessive. I purchased tons and tons of Henri Bendel and I still have some, some I sold on Poshmark others I gave away.

Happy.

Grateful.

Acknowledging feelings.

I wrote tons of Henri Bendel jewelry never leaving the house. Why because I've always loved home. Id' go out looking for another home, a home to love me back...

The excessive shopping was a thrill. I mean as a kid that is what I remembered us doing the most maybe I did it as an adult as a way of holding on to that love I had of her, of us, our memories, maybe when our lives shifted everything else shifted with it...

because remember all things

all our things are different

but they tell us not to believe in a coincidence, there is no such thing they say

but what if there were, coincidences

that when you believe everything is working out in your favor you know that even when it seems like it isn't it is because it's like the universe is realigning itself, moving some things around, getting you to an answered prayer - getting someone you prayed for to an answered prayer - just a flow of answered prayers -

prayer it said "a wish" but they tell us not to wish upon a star

oh ok now she mentions a charity event, no urgency or enthusiasm are we are so used to filtering that we can't recognize what is authentic

Leslie was so busy being herself she damn near hurt that man, his ego didn't matter this was physical pain. He needed her more than he knew.

We can't recognize what is authentic

what's genuine

This girl was buying stuff she didn't need!

I wasn't always a shopper but I always shopped.

if the home isn't happy relocating won't make it happy

outside looking for home or feeling at home

home mean any different things

home although it doesn't look too happy it feels at home safe

it just doesn't care about looks

home although it looks happy it's unhappy and just a scribble up mess on the inside but nobody sees it, it's still home

but when home looks and feels the same

every season the lawn is magazine worthy and the inside, well the inside

he'll never have words for how the inside feels, it just feels, it gives birth

new but old, familiar, safe, he belong here

you just love being home, you love the joy it brings no matter the weather

the smiles, the tears, the tears of joy, family, generations after generations

Are soul contracts real? Is the universe doing everything it can to make that dream, come true?

What is your soul tied to? No limitations.

Leslie had to remember her position

not place, but her position

she was still of very high ranking of authority

she was the only one that could do what she did

Scott, well... he needed her

The legacy.

Native American. Teacher. Fire. Shells. Knowledge.

Phoenix. Birds. Tribes. Turtle. Antlers. Buffalo. Bear.

Montana.

Fear of the Lord.

Sitting out

Why didn't he want her talking about other guys... when did he realize he had fallen in love?

Attention to detail.

Asking is she single... why are any of us single?

She sneezed I think about how I said the was getting the evil out... maybe it was just a warning of what was to come... because her godsister did reappear but what was for Leslie was always for Leslie. She never stopped living. She actually advanced in her career.

and still snagged the man she loved, the one she loved enough to let go of

The car wasn't new, it was restored. The past, future and in the now.

She loved he kept the dimple.

I can't believe my view this time...

I imagine looking out into the field, the field of flowers and to the water and mountains in far distance... deep breaths.

She been in this house all this time and hasn't peeked to know how many rooms... respect.

I love this woman.

It read -

Where you are right now, is where you are supposed to be. Don't compare yourself to others. That only adds pressure. Take each day as it comes, and for what it is. You are a better person than you were yesterday. Growth isn't easy, but you've got this.

If your mindset is fixed, try to free yourself from that, and rise above it. Don't place limitations on what you think you can achieve. Don't stand in your own way. Allow yourself to flourish in all ways. Welcome abundance in all forms into your life.

I say aloud even when it's bad it's abundant.

It only makes sense answered prayers are circulating and the more you have praying and not preying on your behalf whew... depending on ranking... preying may equal elevator up.

I stay out of my shadow side and walk in my light. I know the shadow is always there but I also know the more I dim the light the more likely I am to see the shadow I will do whatever I can to keep that light on, even when it's dim... I'm keeping it on.

family recipes

the memories attached to the written down recipes

handwritten instructions

instructions that have nurtured lives for generations

family reunion

Roscoe just wanted L O V E

green, abundant

grounding, earth

trees, fresh air, southern home cooking

just like grandma, but you see me... I don't remember having a grandma

why do I write to put my pain out of sight

Now he's giving Leslie the car

A valuable legacy, he ritage

the teachings we give our children for generations and generations

small acts of kindness, love

love in the simplest form, the purest form ...kindness

Scott's gift, the car, was kind.

Them in between the sheets was flesh...

The breakfast in bed, kind.

Her... urning for the one... in his bed daydreaming, planning a future

not even know the bell was ringing as a signal

of what was to come

Fishing. Pay attention to your loved ones...

The boogie man as a kid the shadow as an adult.

As a seer, I get scared too. I know I'm special but like Leslie said being special that's not enough

give me more

but can you give more than you give yourself

should you give more than you give yourself

and just like that, support

surreal, remembering her position, his employer

but she leveled up for herself, her soul contract was unlocking

I know what I want to do next

We act prematurely all the time but maybe it's because it's all happening at once so when I really does happen you act????

Morgan that's that girl's name Morgan

he stops playing a flash to Leslie

Morgan closes the door

He continues to play then he stops

back to Leslie ... the calls for what she wanted to do next, were happening now

the future in the past or it the past in the future

her favorite team, Scott's team

Lelise even used his manager and he couldn't wait to tell Scott about Leslie

when the whole universe is aspiring to make your dreams come true

You can surely practice gratitude.

3 months

it's something about that #3

I realize I've had 3 generations in my home, at some point my parents have stayed here, my sister, my son and all of my nieces.

Proverbs 8 is the chapter of the day

Leslie girl calm down you're glad that man is there

but she didn't want to be his plan B

who wants to be plan B I take that back some are okay with that

I don't want to be plan B even for the person I love so much

I want to always feel chosen, loved

I think I can say this broad we all want to be loved

the only plan because in all ways

whatever there was never any settling in the movie

and it was just all a plan for them to come together

soul mates

Why didn't they give us a timeframe at the end of the movie? She said my husband.

When did they get married?!?!? Is time even real....

84848

Jing Gen X

848

Crumbl Cookie

I hear it again - the quality of their mother's happiness.

Separation of roles required. Friendly but not friends.

Spirits operate through people. Be careful of what you attract.

The operations begin.

The tree failed I mean fell but missed the house or maybe it was failed. Gratitude.

Always practice gratitude.

Proverbs 8

Wisdom has been around for a long time

Spirit Messages said

11:23pm and I'm eating McDonalds. I pray for nourishment and strengthening because Lord knows it's a little late to be eating real estate, McDonalds the real estate business (movie, Founder)

I dangle over the sunken place, never forgetting where it's at or the ways I got out of it

only difference is, now I'm planning to stay out

it's starting to feel like home

I see horses and the chariots but still I trust in the Lord.