February 2024

Today, 2/5/2024 it's 11:06PM. Oh Hi, I'm Tikisha I'm just heard - here - writing in my public journal hoping to continue to heal myself through this lifelong journey. If this is your first time here my writing style is a bith - BIT, H - different. As I'm showing up authentically as me I am not correcting my typos and showing up authentically I am going to script my seer insight. I'm adding the dates now because I have well had burned my journals some pages with dates some pages without dates because I kept thinking I don't want anyone to know my business. HOwever I never stoop - stopped watching - writing them. Ok so I know somebody is watching me. I hope you reac - realize that if you're readig - READING, DIG -it's too late. iT - It's a reason I have been writing since I was a little girl. My story needs to be heard. I'm hoping to bring people closer to Jesus... time will tell. I say that thinking of the times I prayed and thought I knew Jesus. Well I did but I didn't have a relationhip - HIM - HIP - relationship, a relationship with Him. The way I feel not - NO T - now is indescribable. No tea? Somebody needs to make sure they don't drink the tea or listen to it.

So now I'm like what the hell does don't drink the tea mean - is this literal or symbolic.

1116 - 1122 Podcast - Tae - Tia - Agatha Christie - ie - Death by Mews - Christ like - lightning

Christ like behavior

I had never heard of February being the month of love until Keisha of KolorFlow Conversations told me - yes shamless plug I was like oh that makes sense with St. Valentine's Day. I've only known February to represent my mother's birthday. This month is extra special because it's Leap Year and she has an actual birthday. She was love. She is love. It makes sense she's a February baby then - month of LOVE.

The letters F, D are significant

I just realized I don't know what leap year actually means.... I feel a rabbit hole coming.

Why and/or when was it invented?

I forgot it was a movie called Leap Year - Irishman who may lead you to the road of true love.

It's funny I got a book for Christmas and I believe the woman is Irish... I am a descendant of an Irishman, guess I'm an Irish Black Girl.

As black people we don't know where we come from and we are looked down by our own when we say we celebrate our ancestors... there are so many other cultures that have traditions passed down from generations to generations.

Holy Shit! She just sent me a gem....

I look at the page in the front of the book cover. Ya'll I can barely type I'm so excited I read it

I see

Great War

Pandemic

Shameful secrets tore them apart

Murder

Agatha Christie

I just said that shti - SHIT - sh Ti - ShAlonda - Alone

I'm watching Lovecraft Country - background noise.

You're not the center of the fucking universe.

This is a powerful statement. You know how big it is? Go with me take a second and think about it... we say a lot of things we don't think about... The universe is infinite. Remember when you were a kid and they told you the sky was the limit. This is h - where the limiting beliefs started.

Why is the sky the limit? In school we are taught about planets - how many tmi

Ok TMI somebody is giving too much information.

The clip on YouTube we said - move in silence.

Got it!

How mant times have you seen a planet? If you feel like this is too much information - LEAVE. aGAIN

Leave. A. Gain.

Again I'm sharing what's behind my closed door with the public - how big is the public?

Wondering what I'm going to gain? Wondering what I want to gain? I want to gain abundance. I'm not up late at night thinking of things journaling researching ways to become closer connected to God and be a better person be a better mother better friend to be poor. Who wants that?

There are 6 planets visible from earth.

Mercury

Venus

Mars

Jupiter

Saturn

Neptune

Uranus

Universe, the whole cosmic system of matter and energy of which Earth, and therefore the human race, is a part.

Sky is the limit (seem pretty abundant to me) Center of the fucking universe - the whole cosmic system of matter and energy

Why are you wasting your energy on things that do not matter? This is how they take up space.

I feel uneasy. I say a silent prayer for my future husband.

The "whole cosmic system of matter and energy" - cosmic system The term “cosmic system” encompasses the vast and intricate universe we inhabit.

I'm not going to keep going because I'm getting sidetracked and I have other stuff to talk about. The moral this is a big ass world. You can build a relationship with God and follow what He wants you to do with your life. Essentially, if you believe he's the Alpha and Omega, Prince of Piece - Peace (both) then you believe He'll do any and everything you want... Let's GOOOOOOOOOOOOO you just have to ask and let him guide you to the rest - how he guides you is through trusting your gut... but it's more to it you have to incorporate the roadmap. What's the roadmap? Email me because I'm already on mine........ I will tell you it being with the Bible. You have to know the Bible for yourself. If you're telling me what somebody else told you in their exact words do you understand it or are you simply repeating what you just heard?

I read once if you still need the book then you're not ready to read. If you still need the book then your not ready to read.

If I still need the book to talk about what's in the book then do I understand the book?

I should be able to talk about what I read in the book without the book if I truly understand the book.

I mean don't get me wrong... I forgot a lot of things, but the things I learn in the book of life - the book I use daily for my life - the roadmap - the Bible. I don't need to have it open to know what it's saying to me.

The book is essential but I don't need to carry it with me to know what it says.

Bible - Kardashian family voice.

If you tell me what let me get the book... is it because you forgot what it says or you don't understand what it says and you need to reread it?

The cards never lie.

I was at level false person + prison ....the reveal

now I'm at Work

I can hear Leslie Wright - let's get to work!

Your feet on fire.

Water is for rich people.

Drake - Grammys - TOP FIVE - TOP FIVE - TOP FIVE - TOP FIVE - Community - Love - Peace - Joy -

Yup, I'm in the matrix

You ever think about some of the movies we watch... In Lovecraft Country they were cracking the code.... she said "the devils tools"

He said this is to protect ours - how can that be bad?

How far are you willing to go to protect yours?

Death is a sacrifice.

The Bible mentions sacrifice 213 times.

213 Self-Doubt (Mystic Micheala)

Affirm: I am capable.

Death is a sacrifice. My ancestors suffered therefore I do not suffer. My mother died, she loss her life so I could have mine.

Anyway, the main characters never worked a job and their needs were always met. This is a spiritual thing. I'm not saying quit your job - money is essential.

Ecclesiastes 9:7 Go, eat your bread with hoy and drink your wine with a merry heart, because it is now that God favors your works.

I'm going to read the next verse because it's a lot of verses in the bible - I'm remembering a certain one right now anway it says

At all times let your garments be white

I know one person that wears white and I don't even know her I just know her name

just like a lot of you reading this now... even the ones that know me more than likely only know my name.

2/6/ 2024 As I was flipping through the bible I see a letter - vision I wrote describing my "man" I don't see husband listed not one time on this list - God fearing that's important, that was first and my last was my protector. Alpha and Omega. I rip this shit up because I am a wife. Where are my single ladies that know they are a wife?

Affirm; I am a wife!

I'm throwing this letter away immediately. Is this why I'm still unmarried at the age of 47? God knew that was a prayer that was not ready to be answered yet.

James 4:2-3 You covet and do not have; you kill and envy; and cannot obtain. You quarrel and wrangle, and you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and you do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it upon your passions.

vs 5 I gotta write this down for me - The Spirit which dwells in you covets unto jealousy

But when I say Sprit - Thank you Spirit it's a problem?

Dwells - act of remaining or living in a particular place or condition

Covets - to desire earnestly or wish for something inordinately

Unto - is a preposition that indicates reference or concern.

The Spirit which remains in you (me) desire earnestly reference jealousy.

Whew chile! I got it now so the Spirit in me gets greedy.

verse 10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he will exalt you.

Read that again - it doesn't say yourself as in you it says yourselves and in US. Americans and whomever it may reach overseas this is for all of us - what ever "this" means to you... exalt is to raise in rank, power, or character. If yourselves don't get on board! Let's take what is rightfully ours as written in the very first blueprint. Coach Kelly J, Ph D your 60 words of wisdom changed my LIFE - I revamped my website. I became more comfortable in me. I love God. I am doing this on behalf of God but I barely had Him mentioned on my website. Make it make sense. Pivotal moment and all for free - so if 1 person picks up one gem then I mission was accomplished because the feeling I walked away with after her class was amazing. I've had other workshops, from people I followed previously... neither of them provided valuable information. I got a few names of good books to read but nothing that I felt I could have started a business the same night after ending the meeting. But Coach Kelly J - I didn't even need the package she offered because what I needed for myself at this time she poured in to me. I pray she is immensely blessed because she was truly blessing on me and we've learned biblically - not religiously or spiritually - that as long as I remain humble, not get jealous of my neighbors because I know I can have it too

well there is nothing else to say

Affirm: I can have it too

Rain - The letter K - 127 - The letter H , The letter R - In Time - 2 - Twins - 1919

It's alignment. The other night I watched Madam CJ Walker on Netflix. As your read my journals you should know colors are significant. Listen: There are different shades of colors. Is teal more blue or is teal more green? Or did you even know teal was a mixture of blue and green. There is a healing of a light pick - pink - to a fuchsia which I don't think of as healing as I do pink I feel like fuchsia is more seductive closer to red. I lost my train of thought. That happens when I'm trying to figure out a way to combine documenting my story an explaining things at the same time so it's useful if even to one person and I mean that - I am grateful for the recent level of feedback I've received most recently, over the last two years. You see you can be surrounded by loved ones and never feel the love.

The Madam CJ Walker the wealthiest African-American woman in America. She died at 51.

She begged to work with Yellow but Yellow envied how she looked - Madam was supposed to be "ugly" but her spirit was nothing but light - she was a hardworker and just wanted to leave a legacy for her family. Yeah, she stole her formula which on my first time watching it years ago during my birthday - it was released 3/20/2020.

I was mad at Madam.

I felt like ok she didn't want you to work with her and that was some bullshit but was stealing her formula the right thing to do? Madam CJ Walker made a choice. She chose to get ahead.

Devil Wears Prada - Andy made a choice as she knew she was only sticking it out for one year and she also know her co-worker Emily lived and breathed fashion (but let's not forget how Andy was treated by Emily when it first started). What did Andy do? She too chose to get ahead, she went on the trip to Paris.... where she ends up quitting the magazine but it also pivots her to the next point in her life... as a journalist.

I'm no longer mad at Madam it took me almost 4 years to get this lesson. I wonder where I would my life be if I had gotten the message in 2020 - back when I was debt free. God had to give me yet another lesson for me to finally get it. I am just grateful for grace and mercy because I know time does expire. I don't think either story was with malicious intent - intended to do harm.

Affirm: God gives me higher ranking when I allow Spirit to led me.

No is a complete sentence.

It's 2:03am 2/6 and I'm wating Orion in the Dark or maybe it's called and the Dark on Netflix. You know it has to be bad when dark comes out to complain about the Orion being so afraid of the dark. He's telling Dark he's not real.... ok well why are you afraid of it? Dark has been around as much as Light - you have to face the Dark in order to get to the Light. I'm 14 minutes in to the movie. Let me check the AstroMatrix app - 20 Judgement. Libra energy........

122 - Hawaii - Phoenix Rising - Transformation - Kyanite - 211 - Fireflies - New York - Carnival - Water - Shark - Beauty - Ocean - Fireworks - Celebrations - The letter S - Pink - Blue - Yellow - Cruise - Sunflower - Trees - Rooster - Community - Finnegan - Irish - Royal Flush - Card Game - Diner - Coffee - Chips - Casino - Dolphins - Travel - Tropics - Fish - Pisces - Scorpio - Flow - Magnetic Energy - Prosperity - Cat - Trees - Peace - Beyonce - Virgo - 234 - Butterfly

Flower Hand Tattoo

dont tell me bless you when you mean be less you

who told you be less was possible

B is a letter which must be connected to E in order to really mean BE

you see

don't tell me bless you when you mean be less you

Green - Orange - Purple - Red - Blue - Indigo - Pink- Red - Yellow

shade

Goodbye superficial people

Oh shit... back to the movie, he's telling his daughter a story - he's predicting the future

9:08 in the movie ...create spiritual space it's like 2:43am and I'm about 49 minutes in and she saying the only stories that really help are the real ones - Heavenly Father please let me story help

Random Eartha statement "I want someone to share me with me"

311 - 908 - 243 - 49 - 4934 - 4311 -112 - 0 One Twelve - Diana - Greece - Turtle

Listen you can't stay where people don't know your value. I'm not trying to show you my worth. I know my worth. I didn't always know my worth.... Once God sets you free it's like how did I not ever know my worth before. I know longer feel sick to my stomach about decision I make because when I make a decision based on my own needs my needs are always met.

I am just I just dropped a simple gem.

Affirm: I make decisions based on my own needs. My needs are always met.

2/6/2024 at 2:37am I'm still watching the movie Orion and the Dark and he says something like so I'm okay in the future, guess that means I don't have to worry so much... He's so excited he has a wife in the future...

I think of my calling a spiritual coach - I never tell anyone what's going to happen in the future. I don't know the future. There are so many factors beyond us - think of moments during a storm when the lights go out... how many people are involved and how it changes the entire trajectory of your day... imagine this... in this exact moment your happy relaxed reading thinking where is this going and how is this a public journal when she's talking to us - in order to be sitting somewhere reading this you have to have some type of relaxed feeling... this moment right now is good - how I picture my life in the future it good - I don't need to see it because I ready believe my thing is God show me a sign

My friend and I were talking "I want to go the correct way"

Read that again I want to go the correct way

I do not trust the future. I trust the moment I am in at this present time. I trust myself. I know trusting myself I am always led down the correct path.

Affirm: I always go the correct way.

It doesn't matter if I go left or right what matter is that I'm going the correct way.

Spirit please guide my steps.

Trajectory means the path followed by a projectile flying or an object moving under the action of given forces.

I love how animated movies change my life. Get caught up in your own story. Co-create.

1611 - 611

Have you ever had a vision, or simply felt so strongly about something without knowing how or why you felt like this but you just knew it? Have you ever opened your mouth and told someone and they made you being to 2nd guess what you knew "for a fact".

Move in silence

I remind myself I can't save everyone. I must remind myself if you don't invite me in your story I am not in your story. I must remember when you invite me in your story to read the fine print, this position may be one I'm not interested in - no matter the costs. I must also remember at any given time, just like employers in the workforce positions are at will... I can fire you out of my life at any given moment.

My cup only stays full by allowing flow... flow..

continuously flowing

I can't find Habakkuk and I think of the people I've seen flip through their bible instead of using the table of contents. It's okay if you don't know all of the books of the bible in order. Trust me God does not care about that. Ok, page 1070 book of Habacuc

Habacuc 2:2 Then the Lord answered me and said: Write down the vision clearly upon the tables, so that one can read it readily. For the vision still has its time, presses on to fulfillment, and will not disappoint; if it delays, wait of it, it will surely come, it will not be late.

2/6/2024 at 4:09am As I write I like to look at my old journals.

8/4/2023 Podcast, flow natural, no topics .....this too shall pass 01/05/2024 not even 1 yr later

WRITE THE VISION! I tell everybody what you want you can have.... dream big!

Have you ever defended someone you didn't even know?

8/8/2023 I write about the group chat - topic cheating

I made the comment all men cheat. I even printed text thread and put it in my journal. I was too bother by the others opinions. The amount of energy, color ink and paper I wasted.

Affirm: My self-worth doesn’t depend on external validation.

I said I'd never seen a faithful man before. I spoke MY TRUTH at that particular moment in time.

I posted the pages on my Instagram highlights - I know some still won't believe this...

I wrote about friend or foe... I have a friend that brings paradise, another that talks, one that is processing, the other is the processor, one that is listening, another one is running, one is lightning, another is a soulmate, one stabbed in the back, another is the grim reaper, one addicted, another has a snake, another is a lover who gives what you need.

Affirm: I welcome only those who truly appreciate me and bring me to the level of my highest good.

I hear married at 1st sight - He chose me - Hammer (Bible) is the divine weapon

December 2020 I didn't listen to my gut... life changed

March 2023 The dental assistant told me she was now the Lead Dental Assistant and how my talk "made a difference" - A sign of a moment God was trying to show me my calling, that I my divine assignment is to be a Spiritual Coach

May 2023 I started my journal by saying "May, what could be the best thing that could happen?"

July 2023 Girl, you're spiritually connected (the realization)

September 2023 Trip with my son ....little did I know this would be a pivotal moment in my life

October 2023 I lot my job ...another pivotal moment

I wrote October 2023 lost my job - opening up unlimited possibilities

The last time you lost your job how did your react?

Have you ever lost a job before?

Have you ever complained about a job you've had before?

Affirm: I communicate my needs.

The time is now - take care of yourself.

I hear the talent lies in casting spells not breaking them. I am sure this is from some anime I've watched but I hear it clearly.

Cast is defined as cause (light or shadow) to appear on a surface

Spell is defined as write or name the letters that form (a word) in correct sequence

I'll keep casting my spells with my journaling. I will be mindful of my words because casting something can be done with light or in the dark.

2024 What is the best thing that can happen?

God, show me how good my life can get!

Again, (I’m)perfectly perfect.

march 2023

this chapter is called restored

I poured into people

that left me empty and I mean I gave them plenty

especially family apparently

those are the ones that do you the worse

but I’m here to break the curse and reverse

it back to you without using hoodoo

just UNO and I’m out

but before you fallout let’s take a timeout

so I can remind you of what this is about

me you see

this chapter is called restored

and I really don’t care who’s onboard

I’m not longer a sponge

waiting to absorb all of your sh*t

cause when it was my turn you’d jump ship closed lip

my mama told me a closed mouth don’t get fed

so instead of me sitting around feeling used and abused even ridiculed

I have a new attitude

I express gratitude

I don’t chase I attract

my mental health is intact

and I don’t care how you react

because I’m finally clapping back

 2/6/2024 it's 5:07am I gotta go to bed. Anyway, as I was saying before I checked the time and got all off on so many other tangents. I was watching Lovecraft County or is it Country I forgot. I turned it off I began to lose interest.... I keep thinking about the scene with the red.

This made me think though one of the scenes in the series

Adam name Eve

Eve fucked

God brought forth monsters

Monsters devoured

God smites Eve

I see a glimpse of "let the seer"

Bylaws Precepts the order of the ancient dawn

I get to thinking...

God smites Eve

Red and Green. When read - red - is depicted in movies it seems to always resemble something negative, some type of hell. However, we walk around in red and green for the whole month of December and I'm sure most are familiar with the term Christmas.

So if red is the color of Christmas - Christmas festival for the celebration of the birth of Jesus is it bad? Or does the red balance the green?

Red: Power - Courage - Grounding - Security - Passion - Emotional Rage

Green: Growth - Renewal - Harmony - Health - Hope - Fruitfulness

855 - Cardi B - Red Bottom - Bloody Shoes - The letter N - H H H - Nurse - 519

God smite Eve

I gotta go to bed. This has me overthinking..... smite means a heave - The letter E - heavy love - blow. Ok, let me try again - smite means strike with firm blow however a smitten a form of smite means be strongly attracted to someone or something.

Is he mad at Eve or nah?

I pull out another old notebook. I can't remember if I talked about this before but I was just beginning to write down angel numbers during this time last year I did it for almost a month and in the same notebook it's 67 of 100 things I wanted to manifest in my life. I still can't believe I never got to 100. It seemed so simple when I heard Steve Harvey say it - I guess that means I have a lot more things that I thought I did because one thing is certain you typically don't ask for what you already have... Typically, I know some folks don't appreciate what they have and ask from a unappreciative standpoint.

end-user transactions

I already know how this story is going to unveil

he’s used to getting hoes for wholesale

little did he know his whole plain is about to derail

because I only sale at retail

I’m not waiting to exhale

here’s a little detail

I want a life like a fairytale

I - eyes - I heard knocking

I think of towever - tow - two - ever - TOWER

This really is my tower moment... tarot...

Sunday, February 18, 2024

I don't even know where my head is at. It's rare that I am write-less. I have all these ideas. Then I stop. What am I supposed to do with my life? Pregnant at 18. Mom at 19. Today I'm 47 years old. Mortgage industry for over 20 years. Then I find this job - "the one". The job I thought I'd be at forever. The job that moved me from full time to part time. The job that doesn't know what part time employment even means. I often wonder is this even legal? I guess it works for them because they get to use me at their convenience. I am an on-call employee. Is the economy going to turn around? I believe this is my 5th time being unemployed in my career. Do I keep this cycle going? Do I find a new career? What is my calling? Are we born with callings?

Me to everybody: I am the happiest I've ever been.

Truth. Facts.

However, money consistent money is essential to survive... I do not want to work 40 + hours a week. I don't want to be stuck to a specific nonflexible schedule. I want to live my dream life.

Is that too much to ask?

Are you living your dream life? Do you know what your dream life looks like?

Can I even share what I see?

Move in silence

I feel like I've already talked to much

Are my friends even my friends

Can I trust them with my dreams... goals... my desires... my truths

Inspire

Aspire

Who even knows?

I am completely lost in the sauce.

ugly not pretty

carrying Gucci to feel worthy

but still I feel empty

Growing up I never heard I was pretty from my Daddy

let me say that again it’s kind of heavy

I never heard I was pretty from my Daddy

a mom before the age of twenty

gave my body to the first guy who told me I was sexy

Wait, he never even said that?!?! Am I sexy?

there is no shopping spree

or a closet full of luxury

that can set me free

I want to do it like Nike

but truth is I only wear Ye

here I am taking a plea

and I ain’t even guilty

I just want to feel pretty

and no I don’t want your pity

this is all part of my destiny

my journey

the road to recovery

My religion told me: Everything is meaningless.

My spirituality told me: Self-love is most important.

My music told me: Free your mind the rest will follow

Believe It to See It: My 11th grade year I started a different high school. It was culture shock to me which is now known as diversity. I remember coming home crying. I told my father I had no friends. I was devastated. He simply said all you have was yourself. I believed him, so I changed my perspective. I see it very clear - my life is my responsibility.

Therefore, if I live my life doing what makes me happy = I’ll be happy.

Higher me: In this moment I am exactly where I am supposed to be and I have everything I need.

no recommendations

no negotiations

only preparations

to see my manifestations

with no complications

elevate

motivate

while others speculate

my life isn’t up for debate

I’m here to set the record straight

life is what you create

so why wait

ignore the hate

don’t take the bait

sent by deadweight

I am a flower

I need water to bloom

I wake up in the early morning hour feeling empowered

I shower

I spray my locs

I say my affirmations while preparing for the day ahead

I am enough even when times are rough

The Most High is my supplier

so what I desire

is already mine

because I am divine

I am a flower

I will devour

anything that comes in my way

even though it may sound cliché

I really don’t give a f*ck what anyone has to say