The Elevator

April 14, 2023 at 9:17pm

I'm sitting her watching the Disney movie Wish and I start thinking...

I just want to say I watched this movie around 3am this morning.

During my backyard chronicles I need a catchier name... I'll think of something. Anyway, while I was in my backyard which we call Animal Kingdom... I saw 3 butterflies... a blue jay... and a bumble bee would not go away from me and of course my usual residents - Mabel, the feral cat... the common grackles, red winged blackbird, woodpecker, chickadee, sparrows or maybe finches I don't know, starling, and mourning dove (2)

I think of the dove Mabel so sadly killed I believe just last week... the mourning dove.

Mourning

Anyway, back to Wish. I have to solve this puzzle and figure out who the king is... The wishes are who I want to be - my higher self, the next level.

Going UP!

Imagine getting on the elevator... and not moving, you're stuck

Are you moving now?

Who are you moving with?

Are you safe with these people?

Why are they on the elevator with you?

Who do you think of that's not on the elevator?

Who hit the button first?

Are the people on the elevator hitting the button because they noticed you weren't paying attention?

Are the people on the elevator not paying attention (like you) so you both are just standing there?

Are you both distracted because you're just so into each other?

Are you both distracted because you're so frustrated that you can't focus?

Were you just expecting the other person to hit the button for you?

Are you distracted because you are just so comfortable with the people on the elevator that you knew you didn't even have to use your brain... as in you just knew they were going to lift you up?

So many questions!!!

Who hit the button first?

What side of damn are you on...

Damn, I have been hitting the button for this person (hurt, anger... not uplifting me to the next floor involved)

Damn, I have been hitting the button for this person (regret... you noticed you haven't hit the button for them and they almost always hit the button for you)

Damn, I have been hitting the button for this person (joy, happiness... BALANCE)

So many damns..........

every single person in your life and every single person in the lives you've been in

So many damns..........

I hear infinity - give & receive - keeps going.

Do you give? Are you a receiver?

Both? Balance.

A spiritual journey...

you know it's a journey and you never take a day off from healing but you must first open your eyes and see that you truly are not healing, or I shall say you aren't healed in certain area as much as you think you are... you must consider the times when you've felt convicted - you knew in your soul what you did was not right... how did you handle that? you knew you should have listened to the advice you received? you knew you should have treated a person better? have you ever put yourself in another person's shoes - I mean, with no expectation none of how you feel but solely in their shoes? If so, how was that experience? Can you really ever truly put yourself in someone's shoes? I mean truly... we can put ourselves in someone else's shoes and they not fit... we still haven't considered their feelings... we are thinking of how we would handle it... how the shoes look on us... okay now less of me more of them... the them that they've allowed me to see... which may not be the them you thought they were... so many of us are hiding our true identities

...how you treat others is a serious reflection of your character.

My higher self is in the bed blogging right now... my Future Husband is off working... I'm not worried about him and he's not worried about me... we are both working towards our goals and dreams together and separately... one... there are no worries... or at least not for me because I know this man... Future Husband... has me, infinity. I FaceTime JB and he answered... I'm shocked so I give him a little bit of shit about it because he loves to ignore me... we chuckle... It's smiles everywhere... I get a glimpse of the old me... and just like that it's gone... gratitude... thank you... thank you so much for my FUTURE.

The future I wanted is the present.

I say that again - The future I want is the present.

It's present as in right now because I can make better choices right now in this moment which I know will get me closer to God and aligned, or as I say in my head "on brand", with my highest self... the path, it's the path to your highest self... as you go along this path you notice things will start changing... you'll notice things you didn't know before...

I tell a client write down the color blue... blue begins to have a whole new meaning... it's more than a color... it's a sign to pause, to reflect, to practice gratitude, to feel - happy or maybe even sad, but most importantly to keep going

The future I want is the present.

The world is ran by numbers. You are always seeing numbers... you may notice angel numbers 111, 555, 222, 333, any of them... best advice I ever received was - focus on what you were thinking about... not what you're told the angel number means...

Do you think The Most High communicates with everyone the same?

Do you believe in spiritual ranking?

Have you ever asked what are you supposed to do with those numbers you keep seeing? Or any of the signs & synchronicities?

They caught your attention now what????

I journaled all of the angel numbers I saw for an entire year... no matter how many times I saw them, I would often times forget to write them down and what I was doing at the time I saw the angel number but I never forgot that information in my mind, my brain absorbed it all...

I learned what the angel numbers meant for me, specifically. You see I made what I call contracts with the universe and I say universe in this instance because all of the universe is helping me...

The Most High God, gods under him... angels... spirit guides... my ancestors... 10:10pm

1010 is significant, for me

I would see 711 so many times and I asked is this my number?!?! and is!!!!

Then boom... I went from angel numbers to palindrome numbers. A new level unlocked.

While I still see, notice angel numbers. It's the palindrome numbers for me... and my faithful 711.

Fun fact: I never go a day without seeing 711.

What are you giving to the universe in return for these signs? a true flow is to give and receive...

You pray to God

Does God only want your prayers?

Are your prayers gratitude? requests?

The Lord's Prayer?

I can't express BALANCE enough...

I'm in a future (present) that I prayed for (past).

The future I want is the present.

It's me vs me. TikishavsKisha

I want to be a better me for me, releasing the trauma held by the old me and becoming better for me I've yet to meet.

I am willing to let go of anyone that hurts me along the way... I'm not angry... I'm aware... there is a difference. I'm aware of how much I love myself so I establish boundaries, for every single person in my life. Some boundaries.... I say this as calmly as I can

once crossed there is no turning back. I put me first... always.

Me vs Me

A learned behavior... I had to learn to put me first... putting yourself first doesn't make you a bad person or make you rude...

I said I wake up happy then life happens... What is life happening?!?! Who am I allowing to steal the joy I woke up with??? What's wrong with me that I'm making a choice to give them my power???

I take my power back!

I am responsible for my own happiness.

I'm in a future (present) that I prayed for (past).

The future I want is the present.

Devil Wear Prada... you don't get it... her opinion is the only opinion that matters. I am her.

I confidently walk on the elevator.

I don't pay attention who's beside me.

I don't pay attention to who's behind me.

I confidently walk on the elevator.

.... I know is going up

As the door closes, I see an arm come thru the door and as the arm comes through towards me... the elevator doors open.

I was raised to not put your hand in between the elevator doors but sometimes you feel deep down in your soul you have to take that chance put your arm through...

Why would you rather lose your arm to save yourself by waiting for the next elevator?

Why are you in a rush?

America has fooled. The marrige, house with a picket fence and 2.5 kids is not a dream. Well it's not my dream. Truth is it never was... I wanted a son but I never wanted a husband... decency and order ????

Why did you put your hand through those doors?

...key word: save yourself not your loved one... in a split of a second you remember your power - you remember He will never leave or forsake you... you ain't gotta do all that... you only have to... BE STILL...

Why did you need to get on the elevator that particular time???? The same exact elevator is going to meet you again in a few moments.

What's the rush?

There is no rush.

If necessary I'll catch the next elevator.

I'm moving slower now anyway... I don't rush to get dressed... it takes me 2 hours, no makeup. I walk slow.

If I don't have an answer in that moment it's not because I'm now smart - I can say I don't know because I'm smart enough to let the question sit with me and cast my words... properly.

Grace.

My spiritual journey has challenged me to take things slowly... patience... there is no rush.

Grace.

I'm always on brand. I am the brand. Aligned.

What's for me is for me...

I'm in a future (present) that I prayed for (past).

The future I want is the present.

Tomrrow has come for me for 47 consecutive years... I'm 48 now, as of March 2024.

Yet, the only moment I have is now. Now. Choices.

I can't change yesterday.

I can change today.

Tomorrow doesn't even exist... yet.

Your opportunity is now.

Were you shown better days as a child?

Do you show yourself better days as an adult?

...the sunken place, how long have you been there? How long do you plan to stay there?

Do you show better days to your children?

Who in your life who do you show better days to?

Are you selfish?

Have you truly given what you've received... and this isn't about money.

Do you have a person who has poured in to you? What have you done for them as appreciation?

What have you done for them as appreciation without them asking... without it being a birthday or a calendar holiday?

Selfish.

You didn't ask to be in the world... but you're here, even a mother wants to feel appreciated.

Balance.

The future I want is the present.

If I can see a glimpse, a glance so quick I can only remember the feeling of joy...

feels like dancing and not caring who is watching you it's just you and the music you feel safe and not even because you're surrounded by loved ones... they start to fade... the song changes and you thought that last song was fire but you remember the new song... when you thought it couldn't get any better it does... it's just you and that song... dancing... vibing... free...

FREEDOM

The future I want is the present.

I didn't recognize the face that got on the elevator with me, but it's fine. I'm trusting God. They are either stopping getting off or going up with me...

I don't care why they put their arm through to stop the elevator... none of my concern.

I have no worries.

I'm on the elevator and all I know is it's going up, top floor.

I listen to the ding ding ding ding ding.

I watch people get on and off.

Ding.

I keep going... a few times in the physical realm I was riding alone, never alone spiritually.

The future I want is the present.

I like the elevator better than life being a rollercoaster... neither are flawless.

The rollercoaster has too many high and low valleys... the elevator may go down just like the rollercoaster but for the most part it's a smoother ride. The mature adults will more than likely want to take the grandchildren on the elevator ride... ease... grace... and you still get to your final destination together... the roller coaster you start slow, then go too damn fast out of nowhere... then turn upside down you may even get wet and it's not even warm outside you're just wet dog mad... shaking... I shall leave the rollercoaster for the parents and for the younger generation that wants to possibly make life harder for the thrill of getting on a rollercoaster...

Where are my folks that go to the amusement park but don't get on the rides?

Back to the movie, Wish -

You see it's the wish that holds all of the energy... Question: Where are you pulling your energy from now? Your wishes... what's yet to come, what you can only dream of??????????? Can dreams come true?

In the movie the King knew their wishes (dreams) and he chose who wish came true... everybody's wish did not come true.

Moving in silence.

Who can you trust???? Who's stealing from you?

Is social media stealing your dreams?

I see skates. I hear... business man. I hear it wasn't me. Truths revealed... Disease.

Set up. All these people, they know I ain't got it.

It's still a business. The big payback.

The future I want is the present.

Yo... you think you're out here living your best life. Yo... you're about to deal with your pride... cause................................................ it's all coming out! You're the only one I told.

After all these years I remember... the color blue... ...the color orange... Gap... the letter C... rainbow.. I think you still got it but you don't... karma, the 8 circle of life ...none of us write the letter 8 the same... do you do two circles top and bottom? Probably not...

Karma, will never be the same.

What does that mean? It means it's whatever you make it if you think a person deserves karma - you're wishing something negative over their life... judge much, no literally - what are you sentencing them to? Probation, Jail, Prison

The mental prison. Free Yourself.

Have the life you deserve!

The American flag it's waiving... left to right...

The elevator

up and down

Which way are you going? N S E W

Today... well shit yesterday because it's 12:38am taught me

Thankfulness for knowing specifically what the signs and synchronicities mean to me personally... the blue jay brought me notification of the color blue... trust my intuition... peace... communication... chimes when I need to pray... 711 for confirmation... bees for gratitude... butterfly... three times... because my mother loved butterflies... and we all know I used to count the days but I no longer count the days or the years... I remember it was 2017 first then I subtract from present day... I go back but now it's only a glimpse...

You remember what a glimpse is, correct?

My mother is not forgotten, but the dark side of grief is... I no longer have any regrets. None.

I've made some bad decisions but they all brought me to this moment today, a moment of wisdom... a moment of changed behavior... my mother said if you do what you been doing you're going to get what you been getting or something like that.. time for do things differently.

I smile I know my mother is on the elevator with me.

What I am not sure of -

Are those waiting to get on the elevator with me waiting because they are headed in the same direction as more or are they getting off on the next level.

Life is merely a movie and you're the star -

You're the main character in your movie... making a movie is complex, you need to have a certain skillset... which can be acquired. I think of the roles involved off the top of my head and I'm sure I am missing so many intricate details.

Here's my movie...

The Most High God is my producer.

My parents were the directors.

Adulting, stepping in to the director role. Since I've replaced my parents it now time for me to work more closely with the producer... I co-create my life.

I spend a lot of time with the producer. I respect the producer. I recognize the producer's worth, so much that I know even when I think I can do what the producer does I can't there is just no way and I'm okay with that...

my role even with all the additional responsibilities...

visual... what shall I wear... music... what shall I listen too and that gets deep, more than music

editor... when I admit I was wrong... cinematographer... moving in silence, there is nothing to see here... the actors... main characters and supporting characters, these roles may switch or no longer exist as the actors work with the producer as well... the screenwriter... the dialogue, here is when it gets tricky because the producer came before the directors so you know the producer is a lot wiser in comparison to all roles involved

...is less work and I still have treasures stored up for me. As above so below.

The struggle of understanding the dialogue between all these roles.

Then when you realize the dialogue changed... now what?

I'm on US soil but it all looks so different.

I hear the wishes were too vague.

Meanwhile...

The King used others wishes for himself, to boost his own ego.

Why do you wish for...is what you wish for the greater good... how does the wish benefit others...

Your prayer request... are you specific and are you using the mustard seed method believing in the impossible?

I hear bet not get too comfortable. The one time I know this isn't about lyrics.

Let me eat some ice and finish this movie... it's 1:44am.

So who was the king? Why can't you see your wish? Why do you forget your wish?

An energy vampire, draining so dry you forgot the direction you were even headed in... your hopes and dreams depleted...

Gaslighting...

transmuted

...Joy... hope... love

Balance. Giving and Receiving. Random acts of kindness.

The reward is living, waking up happy for no reason just because you are alive and get to experience a new experience called present. Present Day.

The future I want is the present.

I see infinity, green, greed.

Would you rather ride the elevator or the roller coaster?

I'll take the elevator. I see a few familiar faces and strangers in the lobby waiting alongside me... I don't even wonder who is going up with me, who's going to wait for the next elevator or who's getting off on my way up... I already know what is about to happen next... it has been on brand... all I have to do now is pay attention to the now... and these palindrome numbers.

Matthew 6:34

Philippians 4:6-7

Proverbs 3:5-6

The future I want is the present. I remember the moment when I prayed for today...

I remember the times I experienced things I didn't pray for how they made me become closer to God, becoming stronger and wiser were bonuses.

The Most High God is making my path straight... straight UP.

I think I'm going to watch that movie UP next. I don't know it's something about animation...

What I don't think I'm going to watch is Good Times on Netflix. Ever.